| Drama... |
[Jan. 7th, 2012|03:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
Life is so tough here...
I am twisted...
I seriously hate my life... and cant take it no longer.
My gut is not being fallowed... because my heart is stubborn. |
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| Lord Ganesha |
[Jan. 4th, 2012|10:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | uncomfortable | ] |
I pray everyday that God removes everything that is hindering me. I just wanna move forward and not be stuck in the past. I have dealt with my share of pain. A little more will not drag me down... I just have to keep moving forward no matter how heavy the chains feel.
Today is the second day that I haven't talked to him. Its is very hard and I am trying my best to stay strong. Its not that he wants to talk to me, but I do not want to be the weak one. I did everything wrong and I took it slower it might be better, but I was easy and made it easy for people grab my heart and destroy it. Not going to happen again.
Danielle |
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| Time Will Tell... |
[Jan. 3rd, 2012|08:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
Right now, I am not sure what is going through my mind.
My chest hurts, and there are a million thoughts flooding my mind.
All I know is World of Warcraft isn't distracting enough for it....
I can't quit smoking... how can I quit a person I care about.
I did this twice.. I can do it again!
Life life life....
What will you keep throwing at me!? |
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| The last year of my life... |
[Jan. 3rd, 2012|06:02 pm] |
Happy New Years! 2012 is here finally...
2011 was a very complicated year for me. I jumped from job to job, until I landed into this gas station job, which I am still currently at. Which has been a blessing all by its self. I am not sure if I should explain everything that happen to me with in last year. I just know it was a big blur after my "Janu" left me. He went off with some other girl, and I literately thought my world was coming apart. Then shortly after my grandmother passed away. With each bad thing that happen to me, a good thing has replaced it. When my grandmother died I was given something that I was in need of, which allowed me to go back to college. I moved out of my mom's house, and met a guy that I have enjoyed the last 7 months of the year with. January 2nd 2012 was the last day we were suppose to be spend together ( that situation gets more complicated, which I will explain later ).
Now, I moved back into my mom's because I need to save money, and my Jany started talking to me again....
I am sad because I wont be seeing my friend anymore. I learned that I can get over anything that I have to .... I am very strong and I do not need to be with someone that does not want to be with me.
Anyways, I got go take a shower....
QUICK OUTLINE: 2011
- Lost job after job
- Boyfriend broke up with me...
- Grandmother died
- Moved out of my moms'
- Started college
- Met a guy, which I spent the next 7 months with.
- Passes all my classes and has a very nice GPA.
- Ex boyfriend contacts me after a year
- The guy that I met starts talking to another and wanting to get rid of me.
- Moves to my moms again
- Learning to deal with the pain again.
Hope you enjoy! |
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| Borning morning |
[Dec. 22nd, 2010|09:55 am] |
Well things didn't go as planed. I was planing to get online and just play WOW for a while. Instead they are doing maintenance on the severs. It usually happens Tuesday and not Wednesday. I have to wait for the game to be available online again until 11am PST... which means 2PM my time.
I bored as hell, I guess I am going to get offline and help my mom or something. I just don't wanna sit here in front of the screen all day. I am not going to be able to get a job until AFTER Jan 1st. Everyone isn't hiring at the moment because its close to the end of the year, plus Christmas is coming up! Just my LUCK! Anyways, so I am just applying for different places, I have the hope my old job. OFFICE MAX will hire me back on. The manager that didn't put my two week notice in, got fired for stealing. Karma is one thing that will get a person for sure.
Anyways, I am going to make this a short journal Entry. Hope u enjoy your day
Danielle |
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| Mother Issues |
[Dec. 17th, 2010|04:34 am] |
I have major mother issues!
my mom had a bright idea on cleaning out the attic... well they say when u do that u find skeletons in it. She found a bunch of things I wrote about how much I hated her. I wrote them when I was like 16 years old.. isnt that what daughters do at that age?
Anyways it upset her ... she deleted wow off the computer and took the modem. She was drunk!
wow ... |
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| Downlaoding......oops |
[Dec. 12th, 2010|06:32 am] |
Dreaming..thinking..seeing..missing..WOW(world of warcraft)!!!
Omggg I just came out to the fact I am the biggest nerd I know. I had a dream last night about wow! I kept logging on to my different alts. Having to lvl each one to 80 before the buzzard went off. I felt panic and afraid, and when ever I logged on to one of my alts. I would get kicked off. I woke up screaming noooooooooooo.... then the urge to play wow so bad! It seems since the new expansion it has been IN UR FACE!
Wow is kinda like your crack of internet games. Its addictive as it gets, so when a wow addicted of myself has seen wow ads everywhereeeeee.....yah Its getting hard to manage. I hope just the moment I log on and do my dailies.. I will feel 20 times better. I will play a month worth, if I find a job then I will probably waste the money worth. I will just play on weekends, or my day offs.
I know I am going to get bored of it very quickly. Its just I hope the urge goes away before I by the new expansion. :) lol
Anyways, I am downloading it on to my moms computer. She is probably going to kill me and I pray she doesnt stop the download in the middle of it. :) Its been 5 hours since I started the download. It is only 21% done downloading.
wait... wait...
skew it I will go to bed in hopes my dream comes a reality. :) |
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| The Bhagavad Gita |
[Dec. 11th, 2010|04:20 am] |
Monday I lost my job. I was torn in to a million pieces. I couldn't get my thoughts straight for the life of me. I went down, stright to a deep hole. I called my Janu to let him know what had happen to me. I talked to several very close friends. They were all very helpful. I was thinking to myself why was did this just happen to me. I do not understand it, neither do I still understand what had happen to me. I was doing very well, saving money. Trying to my best to get my life settled. Then it was taken from me. Instead of me going from plan A to B... it was right back to plan ZERO! It was very disappointing. It was extremely disheartening...was I getting too selfish!? Did I bring it on myself? So many questions to ask with no answers.
When it first happened, I drove from the job to a parking-lot. I looked up after crying for about 30 minutes. It was a Hindu temple. We only have one temple here in Columbus. I was shocked that I found it. I looked for it before, but could not find it. It was closed so I did not go in. Then I thought to myself. What happen if God wants me to see something bigger. What happen if something fantastic is about to happen? I started to think more positive. I thought maybe there is something way better out there for me and I needed for this to happen in order for it to happen. I didn't know... I just knew I was wining like a baby. When there were a lot more people out there in a worse off situation. There are people living under bridges, with out food, shelter, not knowing where their family is, not knowing where they are. Their are people out in this world that are getting raped, killed, in the middle of a war. I was upset because I have to find another job! I felt extremely shamed of myself. Maybe me being let go helped someone that had children and no place to stay and was able to find the job I was kicked from. Who knows.... anyways! I couldn't get my thoughts straight for nothing. I got home, was sad, depressed, could not think even a simple things. I picked up a book so I could pass by the time quicker. I picked up the Bhagavad Gita and started reading it. I was reading the intro, notes etc.... then I skipped along and started to read the actual words. I was amazed on how it made me feel better. How it made me feel like I actual Did have hope. Then I suggested that everyone should read it. At least once. Just to have it under their belt. I am still reading it and just thought I would go ahead and put my two sense on LJ about it. :)
I am going to read the other vedas once I get a chance. :) It made me wanna really learn about yoga(not western), and different ways to meditate. I already Meditate, but I wanna learn the perfect way of doing it.
By the way! If we are reborn over and over again. We eventually get to a point to where we want to be spiritually purified. Which requires us to know Brahmin, so then we aren't reborn again. We all read this point in our rebirths.... weather u like it or not. Sounds fun eh!? |
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| Dear GOD |
[Dec. 5th, 2010|10:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  worried | ] |
Dear GOd,
As you know I have been thinking a great deal lately! I sometimes wonder what you have in store for me. Not knowing my future as you do is hard to handle. I want to make things happen, but what happen if what I want is not what you have plan for me? I want to be with him and you know this. My heart says we will be together, and i just don't understand why it is taking so long. Am I doing something wrong? Am I not at a place in my life where I deserve him? I love and respect you. You are my the reason I am here. You are the reason why I have experienced anything in my life. I realize how blessed I am. I know what u have done and taken away from me because there is a reason for everything. U do not give me more then I can handle. Is patience really what I need to learn now? God please show us the way and keep US strong. We are committed to each other and always will be. Just allow me to be with him for the rest of my life very soon.
We need you.... he brought me back to you and I am more thankful in that manner then any.
Your devoted child. |
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| Second Life.. |
[Nov. 26th, 2010|09:26 am] |
I get very bored easily with everything. I was doing facebook everyday it seems and still is. I am just bored of hanging out there all the time. I am bored even writing this. The only thing I do not get bored of is my Janu! lol
Anyways, I kept hearing about second life... this and that. People kept talking about second life. Well, I thought I would go ahead and try it out. It seems a lot like IMVU. Which I played there for a few, but it got boring because I had to invest a lot of my money into it. Plus I didn't find a lot of Indian guys on there. REMINDER: Should probably download Paltalk. Then again its just because I am bored and have nothing else better to do. FUCKING EH!
I really dislike the internet and shit.. why do I keep coming back to it!?? |
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